by Dawn Billings, founder of RelationshipHelp.com
Relationships, whew, who knew they would be so difficult to maintain and easy to ruin? Most of us go into relationships with no understanding of how to nurture and maintain them. However, there are some basic things that unique personality tendencies inspire us to do that might end up ruining your relationship unknowingly. They begin as small things, but small things turn into habits, and then the habits start to rub our partner the wrong way and BAM, crack the relationship and make it vulnerable to falling completely apart.
Here are some extreme Primary Color Personality tendencies to look out for and reduce in order to maintain a strong, healthy, happy relationship:
Extreme Yellow:
You might think of yourself as the quintessential giver in a relationship. People who see themselves as quintessential givers are so proud that no-one can out give them. The work over time to make their partner happy. They don’t mind carrying 75 to 80% of the relationship load. Heck, they are great at serving and sacrificing for love. However, giving too much, too often, too soon, too consistently may in fact work against you in a relationship. People do not like feeling suffocated, even if you are thinking it is love. Also, it is only natural that when someone gives too much, too often, they can be taken for granted.
People acclimate and adjust and then don’t see all of that extra effort, they just get used to it and that is not the outcome someone who has yellow as one of their colors of their color blend needs or wants.
Extreme Red:
In a world where lust is often confused with love, you might think keeping your body competition ready and having great sex means you are investing in and building a strong relationship, but that might not be true. Physical intimacy is great, but a solid loving relationship requires that you also build and nurture an emotional and spiritual bond. If you believe sex is love, then it is time to rethink.
If you want to continue to have a great physical attraction and experience you must realize that the physical is fed by the emotions. Talk, walk, hold hands, enjoy sunsets and be considerate because all of those actions will bring you a greater physical outcome.
Extreme Green:
You might be someone who believes life should be fair. Oops, guess what, it isn’t. Especially when you face conflict you are going to discover that people do not always behave in a fair minded way when they are frustrated and angry.
There are going to be differences of opinion. No two people are exactly the same and even if they were, I am sure they would find something to disagree about. If life challenges you in unfair ways, which it will, don’t allow yourself to cry and feel ‘that wasn’t fair!’
Just understand that although being fair is important to you, life is not fair so with all of your abilities take it in stride and let go of your belief that life should be something that it will never be.
Extreme Purple:
Who died and appointed you sheriff? Yes it is terrific that you are organized and obsessed with being ‘on it’. Those are very admirable traits. However, when becoming the task master in the relationship becomes a habit it’ll make your partner want to run in the other direction. Yes, things need to get done, however, you and your partner need chill and connection time even if there is still a yard to be mowed and laundry to be done.
Balance your ‘get it done’ drive, with a ‘have some fun’ or else things will get done alright, but one of them might just be your relationship.
Extreme Blue: When you get into an argument, or something wrong happens, you tend to want to fight to the death about who is ‘right’. Yes, we know you are bright, on the verge of genius even, however don’t fall into the trap of wanting to be ‘right’ so badly that you leave your partner feeling demeaned and disrespected. Think about it. Would you rather be right or be loved? Yes, sometimes the equation is as simple as that. Your truth isn’t necessarily ‘the truth’ so you might want to stop fighting to be ‘bright right’ and instead choose to have a warm and tender night sitting right next to your partner.
Extreme Orange: Life is more than a party. I realize that you love to laugh and have a good time and I know it is not FUN to do the necessary requirements of life, but they must be done. You can’t behave like a child forever so grow into your responsibilities with dignity and stop complaining about how doing what needs to be done steals your joy. Learn to find some satisfaction in doing the things that must be done and getting them over with so that you can relax and have a good time. Work hard, then play hard and you will find that your partner and family members will not be on your back nearly as much.
Personality and relationship expert Dawn Billings is the author and architect of Primary Colors Relationship Personality Tests and RelationshipHelp.com training. Dawn is the author of hundreds of articles and executive director of the Relationship Help Resort in Arizona where she leads private couple's retreats and intensives to strengthen, empower and heal relationships.