How to Parent Children with Strong Purple Personality Tendencies
by Dawn Billings, founder of RelationshipHelp.com
Children with Strong Purple Personality Tendencies:
Congratulations, children with purple as one of their top colors in their primary colors personality color blends are organized and competent. You usually will not find their rooms disaster areas. Mess and disorganization makes them uneasy. At early ages they will help with getting the clothes out of the dryer, or other helpful acts. They are rule followers and can usually be trusted to watch the classroom when the teacher must step out for a few moments.
Children with strong purple personality tendencies are self-starters and love to get things done. They like school because in most cases it is a task oriented setting. The love accomplishing the tasks assigned them. It defines them. Sometimes however, they can be more focused on the grade, than they are on actually learning.
They usually do not struggle with the perfectionistic tendencies that children with strong blue personality tendencies can struggle with. They innately understand that perfection is not possible, therefore certainly not efficient. They simply want to do the most effective and efficient job of getting the work of school done, that they can. It is more important to do a job well than it is to procrastinate and ruminate about getting something perfect. Children with strong purple personality tendencies would rather be excellent than perfect because excellence can be achieved, while perfection is impossible.
We will often find these children drawn to student council and other after school activities. They like structure and love to manage their time well. They love the scouts or any organization where they can accomplish tasks and accumulate badges of accomplishment. They usually do their fair share and then some with school fund-raisers. They want to succeed at whatever task they are focused on. It is not so much competition that drives them as it is determination to complete a task the most effective way it can be accomplished.
Because children with strong purple color tendencies in their personality color blends love rules you will find them reminding you of any you might forget. Such as, "You forgot to put your seat belt on." OR "We always wash our hands before we eat." OR "That's not where that book goes." Don't get upset. They are attempting to keep order and organization flowing freely in their lives.
How to Effectively Parent a Child with strong Purple Personality Tendencies:
Be direct and sincere in your communication with them. Explain to them why you do want them or do not want them to do something. If it makes sense to them, they are more likely to take you seriously.
Don’t argue with them. Reward them for their productive and self-starting natures. Notice their accomplishments. Say "I noticed _______." They love for you and others to notice how responsible and good they are behaving.
Be firm, but empathetic, fair, and respectful when disciplining them. If their are rules that you have agreed upon with regard to discipline, do not break the rules.
Allow them to ask questions. These children will want to know ‘why?’ They are more practical by nature so the why of things is important for them to get on board.
Give them tasks that they can feel good about finishing. Allow them to help set the table, clean up after a meal, clean their own rooms.
A great resource for helping children learn and understand emotional intelligence are the many books by Daniel Goleman that focus on Emotional Intelligence and my book, Entitled to Fail, Endowed to Succeed: America’s Journey Back to Greatness, and What Have You Got to Give, written by my son Corbin when he was thirteen. Both of which you can order off my website www.DawnBillings.com.
Another great recommendation: Read Dr. Foster Cline and Jim Fay’s Parenting With Love and Logic books, and I highly recommend that you order Greatness and Children: Learn the Rules. (**simply order by clicking link)
Don’t fall apart and get very emotional when you are attempting to communicate your feelings. Strong feelings feel overwhelming to them. If there is to much emotion they may withdraw emotionally.
Remain strong, but loving. Have your own identity, and allow them to develop theirs. Follow through will every promised disciplinary action, in the way you promised it was going to happen.
Be your word. Do what you promise to do. Follow your own rules.
Put them in management positions from an early age. It builds their confidence and helps them feel competent and secure.
Continue to admire the persistent, productive, principled nature of your purple child, without allowing them to become righteously indignant.
Set clear respectful boundaries about what behaviors you will continue to love, respect and reward, and those you will not.
Dawn Billings is the inventor of the patented parenting tool for toddlers called Capables. Dawn is also the author and architect of the Primary Colors Relationship Personality Tests and Insight Tools licensed and used widely by relationship experts. Dawn is the founder of RelationshipHelp.com and creator of the comprehensive ONLINE relationship programs called RelationshipHelpAtHome.com Dawn is the executive director of the RelationshipHelpResort.com in Arizona where she hosts private couples therapy retreats to help strengthen and heal broken relationships.