Updated: Apr 14
Have you ever asked yourself, “How valuable is FREE advice?” I have. Especially FREE relationship advice. There is a boat load of that 'stuff' available, but most of it is worth the price you actually don't pay for it. There are two reasons why FREE advice, especially relationship advice, might not have the value you want or need.
The first is that you might find as you go through life is that those who give advice most freely are precisely the people who are least qualified to do so. It has been my experience that busy, successful people don’t have time to tell you how to live your life, or live your dreams. They don't have time to get dragged into your relationship drama. They are busy living and loving. Their lives are full.
Frustrated or mediocre people seem to have all the time in the world to stick their noses in your relationship woes. They have given up working on the dreams and goals they had for themselves and now, they want you to help them prove that they were right to quit, by advising that you join them in the frustrated and mediocre relationship habits they are living. If you ever notice that when you are receiving FREE relationship advice from someone who says things like, "Yeah, I know what you mean, my partner drives me bat-crap crazy and I want to shake him/her and run." You should immediately be the one running away from them. I don’t know if they delight in seeing you fail, or if it just comforts them and helps them feel that they are not alone.
If someone tells you that what you are attempting to achieve is impossible or ridiculous, or not worth the effort, or it is no use, they have already been there and done that, stop and do two things. One, take a close look at them and what they have accomplished with their lives. If they have NOT accomplished what you are trying to do, if they do not have a rock star marriage, if they are not committed and happy, why in heaven's name would you consider listening to them? Two, choose instead, to emulate success. Find someone who has done what you want to do. Find someone with expertise in the area of your concern. Read about them. Read their articles. Watch their videos. Read their books. Enroll in their relationship workshops. Go to their couple's retreats. They have what you want so they are the exact people you should look to for advice; sound advice, good advice, advice that helps you enhance and heal your relationships and your life.
You will find that successful people are usually optimistic people. Successful people are persistent people. Successful people are “just do it” people. They have the habit of success because they learned long ago to only take advice from, and listen to, only people who are actually succeeding at the thing they want for their lives. Successful people have also quit giving away their advice because they realize the second reason why FREE advice is not effective. The second reason why FREE advice is worthless, is because people have a tendency not to appreciate, or place value on anything that is FREE. When I had a fifty hour week private practice as a therapist I wanted to help people, especially people with limited resources, however, I quickly learned that if people do not invest in your expertise, advice, or counseling, they place no value on it and therefore, you are basically wasting their time and yours.
If you are a successful expert in any field, do not give your advice away for free. You can share important information and content as a gift to others that helps you establish credibility and helps others clearly see your knowledge base. This helps prove that you are an expert and know what you are talking about, but make sure that it is a taste of what you have to offer, not an entire meal. If you are NOT yet successful, certainly do not give your advice away. Instead be quiet and listen to those that are successful. Figure out what niche is a perfect fit for YOU. Develop your gifts and talents and practice, practice, practice until you achieve a level of excellence worth charging for.
So I will end with a little FREE advice – I have some. Read the free articles on this blog. There is great relationship information here for you. Yes it's free, but it comes out of over 45 years of expertise and experience as a relationship expert. Want something free? Then pay for it with your effort and time as you take advantage of the free expert advice contained in this blog.
Dawn is the Executive Director of the luxury Relationship Help Resort, and author of the 26 week comprehensive ONLINE couple's curriculum, Relationship Help At Home, making is easy to enhance and heal your relationship from the comfort of your living room. Dawn is also the architect of the Primary Colors Personality Insight Tools, used to enhance communication and relationship skills in churches, schools, corporations and with individuals.
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