by Dawn L. Billings, founder of RelationshipHelp.com
According to Wikipedia, confidence is a state of being clear-headed either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Confidence comes from a Latin word 'fidere' which means "to trust"; therefore, having self-confidence is having trust in one's self.
When you feel confident, you feel and believe that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever challenges you face or pursue. Confidence helps you believe in your capabilities and competency to do what you dream of doing. That is why building your self-confidence is so important.
Here are 11 secrets to building confidence.
1. Become a master at something. Select something you are interested in and learn everything you can about it. In life, as you become an expert at anything, you will feel better about the skills, knowledge and expertise you develop. When you have a deep knowledge and experience base you naturally feel more interesting and you will find, people will be more interested in you, your thoughts and your ideas.
2. Learn the power of "Next”. After a disappointment, open your heart and mind to what's next. Ask yourself "What is there for me to learn from this experience?" Believe that something better is on its way. This optimism about the future will move you forward in positive ways. Focus on new opportunities that surround you. The great thing about failing is what it teaches you for NEXT time.
3. Write a commercial describing yourself. I know, this one sounds a bit strange, but if you have nothing to write about, you realize you need to do something to become more interesting to yourself. Create new experiences that will make your commercial more interesting! Visualize yourself being a person worthy of a commercial. Allow yourself to dream YOUR biggest dreams, and then take any action that moves you toward that dream.
4. Take good care of yourself. Usually people who know how to take care of themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually feel more confident in life. When you look in the mirror, focus on those aspects of your appearance that you like. Nurture your body with healthy food, exercise and rest. Choose one new self-care habit and put it into action this month. Think of those things that will make you feel strong, and feel good about yourself. Build and strengthen your new self-care habits. The stronger and better you feel, the more you have to share with others you love in your life.
5. Choose relationships wisely. Whether friends or significant others, foster relationships with those who support you naturally - - no pretending necessary. Find people who are willing to love, support, encourage and inspire you but who will love you enough to tell you the truth, even if you might not respond well to it. It is important to have people in our lives that have the courage to help us see our blind spots. Create a community of at least five people with whom you feel safe and mutually supported.
6. Set high standards for the way you treat others and yourself. Then live by those high standards. You will be amazed at how differently people will respond to you when you treat yourself and them with respect. Others will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Make a values list of the values upon which you most want to build your life, then check in with your values list often to help keep you on track.
7. Decide what you want in life and go for it. Many people do not sit down and consider carefully what they really want in life. They allow life to move them down stream wherever it may take them. Don't settle for less than you really want. Say no to what you don't want and yes to those things and people that are in alignment with you and your values. You are not simply entitled to your dreams coming true, but you have the power to work toward them in ways that will increase the odds of them becoming reality.
8. Concentrate on your strengths. Do you know what your natural strengths, talents and gifts are? If you are unclear about what your personality strengths and weaknesses are, invest in gaining so much more insight into YOU by taking the six Primary Colors Personality Tests. They are easy and fun to take on your computer, laptop, or phone and you will be amazed at the detailed information you receive after taking each test. You will gain insight into YOU. How much time to you invest in learning to better understand yourself and those around you? This will not only impact your confidence in YOU, but it will strengthen your emotional intelligence and strengthen your confidence in communicating with others.
9. Learn to understand and recognize the weaknesses that sabotage your life. Along with our strengths, each of us has areas in our life that limit and sabotage our relationships, our hopes and our dreams. These are blind spots in our lives that can continue to cause us stress and misery. Learn what your extreme color personality tendencies are and how they negatively impact your thoughts and choices you make. All misery is born out of our negative, extreme color personality tendencies so the more we understand them, the better equipped we are to lessen their impact on our lives.
10. Take risks, but consider them carefully. Some personality color tendencies jump at risk, while others are quite terrified of it. Risks are important in life, but so is considering the consequences of the risks we take. When you are afraid to do something support yourself in doing it anyway. Let the taking the risk be the focus instead of the outcome. If you fall down, pick yourself back up and move on. Success always comes from failure. The more risks you take, the more courage you build and the more confident you become. Life is abundant. There is no shortage of opportunities.
11. Accept that perfection does not exist. Since perfection is a myth, expect excellence from yourself and others instead. Understand that your confidence will be stronger at different times and in different areas of your life. Accept that life is a journey, and although is can never be perfect, it can be exciting, stimulating and truly wonderful.
Dawn L. Billings is a personality and communication expert, author of 15 books and hundreds of articles. Dawn is the inventor of a patented parenting tool for toddlers called Capables. and founder of RelationshipHelp.com programs, including the ONLINE relationship programs that bring the relationship answers you need into the comfort of your own home. RelationshipHelpAtHome.com. Dawn is the Executive Director of the Relationship Help Resort in Arizona and creator of Primary Colors Personality Insight Tools and the Happiness Curriculum for an OverJOYed Life. In 20008, Dawn was chosen as one of 80 emerging women leaders by Oprah Magazine and The White House Project and was selected as one of 15 'Women of Influence' by the Cobb County YWCA.