Could your Personality Kill you?

by Dawn Billings, founder of RelationshipHelp.com and PrimaryColorsPersonality.com

Could your personality kill you? Or in some cases cause others to wish you were dead?

Interestingly the answer is yes, but only when your centered color personality tendencies morph into their toxic extreme versions.


Research tells us that personality traits play a distinct role in determining how healthy we are. According to the Primary Colors Relationship Personality Tests and Insight Tools, your personality tendencies when they become extreme can effect how stressed or angry you feel, or how frustrated you feel interacting with others. Your levels of stress, frustration and anger are going to have an enormous impact on your health and your relationships. And when you are behaving out of your extreme color personality tendencies, you are going to be so difficult that people who love you are going to want to run away, or attack, neither of which are good relational strategies.


No person is influenced by just one color personality tendency. We are not 'a' color, but we use a blend of color personality tendencies to motivate and actuate our lives. We believe that personality color blends are contextual, which means we use different skills, strengths and traits in different emotional and life contexts in our lives.


But there is one more very important piece of color personality tendencies to consider that that is whether we are utilizing our centered strengths, or we have moved into the worst of us, our extreme weaknesses. We move from our centered strengths into our extreme weaknesses often. It is a natural part of being human. But all good things, accomplishments, successes, professionally or personally, happiness and joy are born out of our centered strengths. While all misery, resentment, frustration, anger and unhappiness are born out of our extreme color personality tendencies.


Let's examine the six different extreme color personality tendencies and and how the extreme color tendencies of each can actually harm our health, and the health of our relationships:


EXTREME RED Tendencies – Partners who always want things done their way have a tendency to be hostile, and controlling.

One of the aspects of the impatient, hard-charging Type A, is that your want things done YOUR WAY. Extreme RED personality tendencies are more likely to be overweight in middle age and have higher cholesterol and suffer from high blood pressure. Of course, these are known to increase the risk of heart disease. Hostile people have a tendency to eat and smoke more and exercise less than other personality colors, says Redford Williams, head of behavioral medicine at Duke University Medical Center and author of Anger Kills. Most of these problems can be traced back to elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as increased inflammation in the walls of the coronary arteries, which leads to a greater risk of heart attack.


Hostile heart patients who attend workshops that teach stress coping skills, like how to return to their centered personality tendencies have a lower incidence of depression and healthier blood pressure than Type A’s who don’t. The key appears to be in a person’s willingness to learn how to communicate more clearly and how to control anger and other negative emotions in the process.


One recommendation is to learn to let some of the small stressors go. Ask yourself, Is this issue truly important? Is what I’m feeling appropriate to the facts involved in the situation? Also meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can damp hostility with a layer of calm, but people with RED personality tendencies are the least likely to be attracted to yoga and other calming practices.


EXTREME PURPLE Tendencies – Can work themselves to death.

People with strong purple personality tendencies are usually great managers. They love to manage others, projects and their lives with diligence. They like having a plan A, a plan B and a plan C. Careful planning and feeling prepared translates into less anxiety and stress and that translates to a lower likelihood of heart disease. Also less anxiety strengthens the immune system.


However, people who are operating out of their extreme purple personality tendencies, are in danger of becoming workaholics. A desire to have a plan for every contingency can actually create more stress and anxiety. This can be very damaging to one’s health. Over the long term incorporating some orange color personality tendencies that allow you to take time to play, relax and enjoy family can help with managing stress and will strengthen your relationships as well as, lengthen your life.


EXTREME BLUE Tendencies – Can see only the potential problems and manifest illnesses.

People with blue color personality tendencies love knowledge. They are extremely bright and studying details. This is wonderful except when they are studying their own symptoms. They can gather so much information that they can convince themselves that they have symptoms of many different diseases.


People with blue personality tendencies are wonderful scientists and researchers because they are driven to find answers to cure all kinds of problems, but this same great quality when it moves into the extreme can make them vulnerable to over-diagnosing their own problems. It can make them less willing to go to a doctor to receive what they imagine will just be “bad news”. When we focus on our worst fears, we can actually help manifest them.


EXTREME ORANGE Tendencies – Impulsive tendencies can take risks that put their lives at risk.

People with strong orange color personality tendencies who are driven by having fun and experiencing new things are prone to take risks and act without thinking, which, as you can imagine, is not necessarily the best action plan for their health. People with strong orange color personality tendencies are not know for the fore-sight. They do not usually stop long enough to think about what consequences might correlate with their actions or choices.


Since no person is ever just one color, but instead a color blend of personality tendencies, many color blends can include orange color personality tendencies. For people who have orange as one of their personality colors in their color blend, high-risk behaviors, and even addictions are simply a part of how they play. They’ll look at opportunities that come along and judge them on their level of perceived fun and immediate gratification, whereas people without a great deal of orange color influences might judge an experience instead, by the long-term consequences of the action or choice.


EXTREME YELLOW Tendencies - People who want to be recognized and appreciated can feel taken for granted and become passive-aggressive victims.

People with strong yellow color personality tendencies have a desire to please and serve others. People-pleasers are often conforming, passive, and want to accommodate. They believe that the most important thing in life is the quality of your relationships. People with strong yellow color personality tendencies are usually patient, very inclusive and compliant. Healthy relationships translate into healthy people, but unhealthy relationships can be very taxing both physically and psychologically.


However, people with strong yellow color personality tendencies can get so focused on taking care of others that if they begin to feel unappreciated and taken for granted. This causes them to complain, quietly seethe, and become sad hoping someone might love them enough to give back. People with strong yellow color personality tendencies are lovers, but once scorned, they can become bitter and passive aggressive, neither of which is good for their health. In their extremes, people with strong yellow color personality tendencies take things personally and spend a great deal of time feeling hurt.


EXTREME GREEN Tendencies– have a tendency to be Optimistic versus pessimistic

People with strong green color personality tendencies are usually hopeful and optimistic in their center. A study published in May in the journal Clinical Practice & Epidemiology in Mental Health after researchers followed more than 500 males for 15 years found that optimism “heavily influences physical and mental health”. The rate of heart-related deaths was 50 percent lower among optimists than among pessimists. Optimists have a higher quality of life, and they may be more resilient in the way they deal with stress. Glass-half-empty types harbor little hope for the future and tend more toward depression and anxiety disorders.


So you can see how when people with strong green color personality tendencies go into their extremes and become agitated, radical extremists who hold angry and judgmental mindsets that they become polar opposites of who they are in their centers, and that is very toxic and dangerous to their health.


In conclusion, all color personality extremes are unhealthy for your physically and emotionally, and they are certainly unhealthy for your relationships. Do all you can to stay in your centered tendencies and your life will be filled with so much more peace and joy.


Personality expert Dawn L. Billings is the author of over 15 books and hundreds of articles.

Dawn is the founder of RealtionshipHelp.com a website dedicated to providing resources to help strengthen and heal relationships.


Dawn is the creator of the comprehensive ONLINE relationship programs called Relationship Help At Home, and is the Executive Director of the Relationship Help Resort in Arizona where she hosts private couple's retreats and marriage intensives to help people restore the love and connection in their marriages.